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My Cancer story
12th April 1994 …. the day my life totally changed.
I was happy going to Nature Care College, eating healthy, doing yoga every day, loving nature, loving life. Life was great!
Then I felt a lump in my left breast. Immediately I knew it, I had Breast Cancer! A very normal reaction would be to be overwhelmed with fear and see your life crumble before you and become angry. Not me. I had a complete opposite reaction. I knew it was time to solely focus on me. This was a huge wake up call, this was MY wake up call. I knew it was time to take the bull by its horns and work with this enormous task of survival.
I made my choice in life to live.
It was a change in my life, a change for my husband’s life, a change for my children’s life and I knew I myself had a choice.
I choose ME!
My Confirmation
I went to the doctor for x-rays and ultrasound, to confirm what I already knew; “I have breast cancer”. On the 12th April 1994 my knowing was confirmed with a letter from the doctor. From that moment on I knew I had to choose me, I had to do it my way, listen to myself and listen to my body, stand on firm ground and refuse anything that did not feel right with me. I am the ruler over my body and I know what is right for me and what feels right for me.
There are many roads leading to Rome.
I too have a choice!
For so long I had to listen to my father saying I was too stupid to do anything, I would not accomplish to anything much, I was the black sheep of the family, I did not feel wanted anywhere, I always felt alone. Now it was MY turn. I could choose the drama around breast cancer or actually decide to live! Life does go on with or without you.
You have a choice. I choose life!
What are my options
I had to go back to the doctor, where I was explained what the next steps were going to be for me. I was to have a mastectomy, chemotherapy and as a bonus radiation. My answer to this standard line was:
“I will not do that. What are my other options?”
It just did not feel right for me to have all that done, even though the urgency was there to remove it from my body. It was already a very large tumour.
I went back to my teacher at Nature Care College to find out more about my possible options. She informed me to go to a specific naturopath clinic, the Pymble Grove clinic, where a regular GP was also present, giving every patient who walks in there the choice of treatment. Within two hours of knowing I had breast cancer, I walked into the clinic and sat down in between all the other cancer patients. They immediately asked me: “what type of cancer do you have?” and then for the first time I had to say it out loud:
”I have breast cancer.”
Knowing that the breast cancer had made my immune system very low, the first option I was given, was to start detoxing my body and supplying it with a high dosage of vitamins and minerals. This would be done by intravenous, much quicker in the body and hopefully a quicker result. This treatment would raise my immune system again, making it strong to combat any further hurdles in my way. I had to do this on a daily basis. This felt right for me.
Then was ready to make the next step: finding out which method would suit me best to work on my survival plan. I started reading books, looking at different diets specifically designed for cancer patients, doing my daily meditations, trying to find a routine in my new journey, in my new life. One thing was for sure, I had made up my mind, no chemicals are going into my body, no one is cutting in me and taking my breast away, I wanted to do it the natural way. I choose the Holistic approach on my new journey, my journey of breast cancer. That felt good to me. It really felt like that was the path I needed to take.
I had made a choice!
My Medical Experience
Unfortunately, my husband had a harder time understanding what was going on, trying to deal with the cancer, trying to deal with the fear of losing his wife. He had an even harder time understanding why I refused to have it removed and why I had decided and chosen to take a different path. I had previously discussed it with my children over the phone, as they were all living overseas. Knowing how hard it was for them to deal with all this from a distance, they knew that the path I had chosen, was the path I wanted to take. They supported my choice fully. My husband still felt it was the wrong decision and he wanted me to see a specialist. So I obliged and went to see a specialist the next day.
Well it was very clear how he felt about my situation: “Tomorrow morning I will operate on you. You will need a mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiation.” And that was that. I replied: “Tomorrow is not a good day for me.” He then suggested next week Friday, I again said no, I first wish to speak with my doctor. He picked up the phone, called my doctor, after which he said: “You will have an operation next week Friday.”
Whatever happened to choice? What ever happened to I am the boss over my body? Nobody decides for me what is good and what is bad, what is right and what is wrong. How many times have doctors been wrong? I knew at that moment I had a choice. Either I choose to listen to the doctor and go against my own feelings or I choose to stand my ground and choose me.
I immediately said: “how would you feel if I would operate on you tomorrow morning and take your testicles?” He became very angry to which I responded: “Now that is exactly how I feel.” You cannot just take somebody’s breast away as if it is not a big deal and not look at the emotions behind it all. It is not some routine job of fixing a broken arm or something. He told me I was stupid and I would only live a very short life. With the operation, I would at least be able to prolong my life with one to five years. Now that was not good enough for me! I wanted to live and see my children get married, become a grandmother and become very old. There was still so much in life I wanted to do and to experience. I was not ready to choose death over living. I want to live!
I knew we were unable to come to an agreement. He did a biopsy to see if it was malignant or benign. It was malignant. He was very unhappy with me standing my ground, but needed to respect my wishes, whether he liked it or not. I was happy I did not give in to his guilt talk and to his wishes. I went back to see my own doctor. I asked her if she had given the specialist permission to operate on me, she denied it. She informed me, that it was not wise to discuss with him the path I had chosen. It was clearly a path not on his agenda, but it was certainly on mine. I stood firm towards a specialist, who believed the medical way was the only way to be cured. I begged to differ. I knew there were so many roads leading one destination and I had a choice.
The biopsy unfortunately had decreased my chances in survival. It had started to spread to my lymph nodes. There I had another choice to panic or to hang in there and stick to my choice of treatment and believe in my choice of treatment. I choose not to panic, I choose to believe in myself and in my choice and consciously followed my inner feelings.
My Choice of Treatment
On a daily basis, I continued with the high dosage of vitamins and minerals.
I choose only to eat organic food – I needed no extra chemicals in my body! I choose steamed fish, only fish from clean water – i.e. Trout and Salmon - over red meat and made a fruit and vegetable juice daily. I began detoxing my body with high dosages of vitamins and minerals and had regular colon cleansing session. I also started taking homeopathic medicines, flower remedies and followed the Galvano Therapy. And most importantly, I meditated every single day, sometimes more than once, whatever my body needed at that point of time. Meditation brought me closer to me, to my body, to my soul. It allowed me to have a clearer communication, a clearer channel, a clarity of my own feelings and the process I was going through.
My choice felt right for me!
I am cured!
On 12th December 1994 I once again had to return to the doctor for a blood test. The results were clear, I no longer had cancer in my body. I had beaten the odds and did it my way in 8 months time. My T-cells were back to normal. A dear friend of mine had cancer, found out on the same day as I did, she unfortunately believed the regular treatment was the only way. She did not believe she had a choice and she did not believe that there are ‘many roads leading to Rome’. A year later she died. Everyone was scratching their heads when seeing my results, not understanding how this is possible, but I knew I had made the right choice. I still have my breasts, I still have my hair, I have a healthy body and I am alive. And most importantly.
I made my choice to live!
My Mission
My mission in life is to teach everyone that we all have a choice. No longer do we need to give away our power to the doctors or anyone else. We are able to make a choice for ourselves. We are more than able to stand in our Power. Especially now with the internet, it has opened up the world full of information and brought it closer to you, assisting you in making a decision for yourself. What feels right for you, may not feel right for someone else. Does it then mean, you don’t do it for yourself? Stand in your power, take responsibility for your own life, and start feeling.
I am living proof that a different way of tackling cancer, does not necessarily mean it is the wrong way. I was told it was the wrong way, but look at me now. 15 years on and I am still alive! Living a healthy and fruitful live, enjoying all the experiences that come on my path. Exactly what I choose!
I would like to help you broaden your mind, helping you to see that there are so many different options for you out there, so many different ways of tackling your very personal situation. Just remember:
Many roads lead to one destination
Choose YOUR Destination
Make your Choice in Life!
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